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Preparing for a day like today


Everyday, we try to prepare our children for what they might encounter out there while we are not with them. There are days when you put in double the effort. Today is one such day for us.

Today, there will be a school fundraising event where kids will ride their wheels to raise money for a school van. No-brainer, right? Just a regular fun time for the kids.

I truly hope so. I am on my way to work, replaying in my head the reminders we've given our son. Have we told him everything he needed to know? Will he remember them all?

I walked him to school today, talking non-stop, trying to cram all my instructions in those few minutes. You see, one of the ways to help Michael is to discuss everything that could happen.

When things don't go as planned 

It is a wet Auckland day. In fact, I've got my gumboots on. So I told him to prepare for the possibility that the much-awaited event might be postponed. This talk is crucial. Last term, Swimming Day was cancelled due to the weather and boy, was that a disappointment for him. He, not knowing the social implications of his actions, sent a number of emails to a teacher and the principal to complain about the cancellation. The tone was...well, let's just say he was upset. You can imagine why that day, I received a call from the school. He was given disciplinary action for the emails he sent. Restrictions were placed on his device. From then on, all his emails will be screened by his teacher. It was a big drama he and everyone else can learn from.

One small thing, to say it's not 100% that an event will happen, could prevent a meltdown.

Personal space 

I have seen the bikes, the scooters, and yes, I have seen two very large shopping carts. That track will be full of kids and their wheels of choice. There will be lots of noise, many excited kids and little personal space. I hope that he will try his best to respect other people's personal space, taking care not to bump into them, while not taking it personally if his own personal space will be compromised. The stimuli is going to be high today. I'm nervous and already feel sorry for him. I hope he'll remember one of the songs from Lily's cartoon. "When you feel so mad that you wanna roar, just take a deep breath and count to four..."

Multi-steps

He's never needed to lock his bike before because he's never had to leave it in a public place. Dad got him a combination lock for his bike last night and taught him how to use it. I have no worries about him remembering his combination. What I do worry about is the multiple steps and fine motor skills involved in unlocking and locking his bike to the rack. I made sure we practiced at the bike racks this morning a couple of times before I left him. He grunted in frustration because it wasn't easy for him. He eventually got it.

Things we take for granted are complicated for him. I'll give you another example - having his passport photo taken. But that is a story for another day.

When today is slightly different from everyday 

He has to walk his bike home this afternoon instead of riding it. One, because they are not allowed to ride it outside the school grounds for everyone's safety. Two, because it's slippery out there today. With a heavy backpack to manage, his gear, his wheels and the wet road, it will be a different walk today.

Adding one thing to the mix can increase complications a few notches. I will be so relieved to know when he has reached home.


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I am almost at work. It will be full on again. But my mind, you know where it will be. I've done everything I can. Or have I? I'm never sure.

There's one thing I must not forget to do, though. I'll be praying this whole day as my son is out there. As you do. As we do.

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